The Watcher

Track 20 - August 26, 2025 12:19 AM
I wonder if
truly great people
are born that way,
or if greatness is a muscle
built under the weight of
unwanted circumstance.
I don’t think suffering is required,
but I know it carves
a particular kind of room in you
for other people’s truths.

You can go from
the best day
to the worst day
to just an okay day
in the span of three hours.
Sometimes in twenty minutes.

I’ve watched my own mood change
like the lighting changes when clouds move over you on a sunny day

I met myself
on a trip meant to make me forget.
But I didn’t forget,
I remembered too much.

I became the watcher of the watcher.
A mind afraid to close its own eyes.

It made me see
every truth, every lie
every drop, every rise,
every silent war beneath my breath, 
everything in front of my eyes.

And when I finally let go,
I wasn’t swallowed by the void
I was held by it.

Because the truth is,
I was never afraid of being lost
I was afraid of no longer being found
by myself.

When you live with that,
you learn to leave room for people.
You stop assuming
every sharp word
or quiet retreat
is a choice.
You give grace
because you know
how much of yourself
is decided by numbers
you didn’t pick.

one day
you will know the shape of patience
so well
you’ll give it away freely,
because you’ve had to give
so much of it to yourself.

I have died without dying.

I have felt my body unravel, sweat slick and still,
while my mind stood in the quiet corner of the room,
watching it all with soft, unflinching eyes.

I have floated beyond the panic
not in fear, but in observation.
Not in control, but not in chaos either.

A system rebooted by silence.
A threshold moment,
where I am not my name, or my numbers,
but just a shape of breath and time.

Existing.
Without performance.
Without need.
Without even the burden of meaning
just the gift of stillness
between one heartbeat and the next.




I was so low I could barely hold on…
and yet some part of me still fought
not because I believed in the future,
but because there was still air in my lungs and my body wasn’t ready to let go.