Lucid Goodbye
Track 10 - May 9 , 2025 4:19 AM
I keep dreaming of her.

Not in the ways I want to

not with warmth, or closure,

not even a passing smile.


Just presence.

Just her there,

and me,

watching.


She stands in a group

and doesn’t see me.

Or pretends not to.

I can’t tell the difference anymore.


I look away

before the ache can flood my face.

And I run.

Because standing still

would make me disappear.


Another dream

a parking lot,

a moment too ordinary to be staged.

She sees me.

Phone to her ear like a shield.

Turns.

Hesitates.

Gets back in.

Drives off.


Even my subconscious

can’t make her stay.


I wake up with questions

that don’t have bodies.

Emotions that didn’t get names.

A silence

that never stopped ringing.


I was never asking for much

just a glance,

just a pause,

just some sign

that I was still real to her.


Instead, I became

the background of her moving on.


Even in dreams,

she forgets me first.